Behavior and Development .

                

      

What do we need to know about bad habits and behaviors in children? 1) Bad Habit Parents find many habits and behaviors of their children annoying. When you want to change an unwanted behavior, it helps to first understand why your child is doing it. Bad habits are often just a coping strategy. Your child may fall back on these behaviors when they are stressed, bored, frustrated, unhappy, insecure, or tired. Many of these “bad” habits are calming and soothing to the child. Most of the time, these behaviors are just “phases” or habits—not serious medical problems—and the child typically outgrows them. Managing the behaviors can be difficult, however. In general, you should try to ignore bad habits. Yelling, calling attention to the habit, and punishment do not usually work to stop the behavior (and may even increase it!). Praise, positive rewards (when your child is not doing the behavior), and patience are likely to help.

* How can we break my child's bad habit? First, try ignoring the annoying behavior. Your child will probably outgrow the habit with time. Giving a lot of attention (even though it's negative) may actually encourage the behavior. Praise your child for good behavior. The best kind of praise simply describes what you see that you'd like to see more of. Catch your child being good, and tell them you noticed. For example, tell them you noticed they weren't chewing their nails. It may be nearly impossible to stop the bad habit until the child becomes interested in stopping. For example, a little girl may actually get enough “benefit” out of biting her nails that she will not be willing to stop. When she gets a little older, though, she may be interested in having nice looking nails. Then you will be able to help her quit. If there are several behaviors you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don't try to make too many changes at once. Try to figure out what may be making your child stressed, and help them address it. Give your child chances to talk to you about things that might be worrying them—make eye contact and actively listen. Let your child make decisions whenever possible, by giving them acceptable choices. For example, “Would you rather have toast or cereal for breakfast?” This will help your child feel in control, reducing stress and frustration. Redirect your child and help them find a better place, or better way to do what they are trying to do. 2) Developmental Milestones. Child development refers to how a child becomes able to do more complex things as they get older. Development is different than growth. Growth only refers to the child getting bigger in size. When we talk about normal development, we are talking about developing skills like: Gross motor skills: using large groups of muscles to sit, stand, walk, run, etc., keeping balance and changing positions Fine motor skills: using hands to be able to eat, draw, dress, play, write, and do many other things Language skills: speaking, using body language and gestures, communicating, and understanding what others say Cognitive skills: thinking skills including learning, understanding, problem-solving, reasoning, and remembering Social skills: interacting with others, having relationships with family, friends, and teachers, cooperating and responding to the feelings of others. What are developmental milestones? Developmental milestones are a set of functional skills or age-specific tasks that most children can do at a certain age range. 3) Kids and Digital Media. Today’s generation of children and adolescents is growing up immersed in media, using platforms that allow kids to both consume and create content, including broadcast and streamed television and movies; sedentary and active video games; social and interactive media that can be creative and engaging for both individuals and groups; and even highly immersive virtual reality. This media landscape is completely different from what many parents grew up around, so it can be overwhelming at times.

Take-Away Tech Principles There are a number of ways parents can use media together with their young children to encourage family connection, learning, and digital literacy skills, which in the long-term will help us raise children who use media respectfully and creatively: Try to teach children that media use means more than just entertainment, but also connecting (e.g., video chatting – which is fine at any age, although infants need their parents’ help to understand it), creating (e.g., letting the child take photos, make videos or songs, looking up craft ideas), and learning together. Parents should feel comfortable seeing digital media as a tool to meet their parenting needs, to introduce your kids to learning experiences they otherwise wouldn’t have, and not the thing-in-itself that controls us or our children through its habit-forming design. Role model being able to unplug during family times, having good social media manners, and talk about why you’re choosing to use the media you consume – this will help you be more mindful at the same time that it teaches your children to be savvy consumers (and hopefully avoid the pitfalls of “fake news”). If children are frequently seeing you use media as a calm-down strategy or a distraction from mealtimes, they will come to understand that this is how media should be used. For all family members, create some unplugged spaces and times of day so that both parents and children can play, be bored, or talk without distraction or needing to multi-task. Don’t feel pressure to introduce technology early; kids will catch up when they are older or in school. But, if parents want to introduce media early, the youngest age we recommend is 18 months, at which age it is essential for parents to play along with the child in order for the child to learn from what they see on the 2-dimensional screen. 4) Nightmares. Nightmares are disturbing dreams that occur during REM sleep, a stage of sleep with decreased muscle tone as well as irregular breathing and heart rate. Nightmares are associated with awakening from sleep. They tend to occur in the latter half of the night. Nightmares can be associated with a variety of emotions including fear, anxiety, sadness, or anger. Upon awakening, the child is alert without confusion and usually can immediately recall the dream. Children often have difficulty falling back to sleep after having a nightmare. Between the ages of 3–5, up to 50 percent of children may experience significant enough nightmares to disturb their sleep, as well as their parents' sleep. However, the peak age for nightmares is between 6–10 years of age. Stress or traumatic events, such as bullying, may increase the occurrence of nightmares. Nightmares can also be associated with having insufficient sleep, mental health problems such as anxiety, as well as the use of some medications.

5) Purposeful Parenting. Parenting is one of life’s greatest joys. It can also present big challenges, particularly for women. Beyond the daily chaos of a busy schedule and tending to a child’s needs, deeper troubles may linger: low moods, anxiety or trauma-related difficulties around the time of childbearing. 6) Reading and Literacy in Children. Reading and writing skills are important factors towards your child’s success in school and work. In addition, reading can be a fun and imaginative activity for children, which opens doors to all kinds of new worlds for them. 7) Screen Time Tips When Stuck at Home. Whether it’s a series of snow days or the need to stay home to keep from spreading illness, keeping kids at home for an extended period of time can be challenging. The situation is further complicated if parents need to work from home and are feeling the toll of anxiety and stress themselves. It is expected, and OK, that kids’ screen media use will increase during this time. The following tips may help parents ensure that this media use is positive and helps the family and community: 8) Sibling Rivalry. Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. 9) Speech and Language Development. Speech and language is an essential part of any child’s development. Language development impacts your child’s social interactions, behavior and academic skills. 10) Teaching Children to Manage Conflict. Conflict is a normal occurrence between children. Learning to resolve conflict is an important life skill for children to develop. Whether your own children are squabbling with each other, or getting into disagreements with playground playmates, it can be hard to know how to help your child learn to deal with conflict, as well as to know when and how to involve yourself in your child’s conflicts 11) Temper,anger A temper tantrum is an emotional outburst from a young child who is distressed or frustrated. They are a normal part of growing up and tend to happen most between the ages of 1 and 3. 12) Timeout and Time-In. It’s important to call out children’s bad behavior. But it’s crucial to acknowledge their positive actions, too. The underlying goal of a timeout is to discourage bad behavior by putting your children in a boring situation they’d prefer to avoid. For timeouts to be effective, they must be balanced with “time in” — in other words, giving your child the attention he or she craves when behaving well. Children crave the attention of their parents or caregivers. They prefer this attention to most anything. They like it more than any candy, toys, video games, videos and screens. In the end, children want nothing more in this world than to bask in the light of their parents’ one-on-one attention. If we can fill their “attention tanks” in response to good behavior, they’ll be less likely to seek attention by acting out.

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